Fun at... Walmart?

Well howdy, y'all! This here's a list of fun things to do at the most boring place on Earth... Walmart! There are many different variations of this list, but these are the things we like most. Enjoy!

1. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners, especially the fruity ones.
2. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap, Star Wars light sabers, or pool noodles.
3. Leave cryptic messages on the Etch A Sketches or similar temporary writing pads.
4. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off before turning the volumes all the way up.
5. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
6. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "I mean, seriously. Who BUYS this stuff, anyway?"
7. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
8. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department. This tells them that that department is YOUR territory and yours only!
9. When the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner at check-out, say, "Oooh!!!" in astonishment as it beeps each time.
10. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
11. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
12. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "I am... the Batman! Come, Robin--to the Batcave! Awayyyyy!!!"
13. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles. (Careful not to throw anything that might injure someone if it should land on people.)
14. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down. If you don't know how to do that... just forget it.
15. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
16. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
17. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
18. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. Barbies. Take bets on the battle described above.
19. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
20. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."
21. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
22. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
23. Politely ask employees, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
24. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
25. Two words: Marco. Polo.
26. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
27. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels. ;)
28. Relax in the patio furniture for a bit.
29. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, look up and search the ceiling asking, "Lord? Is that you?"
30. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax.
31. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
32. Look up at the ceiling in amazement while pointing as if looking at something bizarre and see if other people look up as well.
33. Get a group together to hide in the clothing racks and shout in high, squeaky voices, "Pick me!" "No! Pick me!" when people are browsing.
34. Create your own marching band to weave in and out of aisles and departments.

Good luck and have fun!